Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Trials as Joy??? YES!!!!


I have continued to organize and reorganize since we moved 2 months ago. There never seems to be an end to the STUFF. Where does it come from???? Wondering about spontaneous regeneration in this case . . . once it's been thrown away, discarded, redirected it somehow finds its way back to places all on its own and then excels at enhancing the overall cluttered look to a room!!!!! argh. Having said all that and feeling my frustration level rise at the moment, I did come across something very valuable yesterday and am glad to have been reacquainted with it.

This is the testimony I shared with our church family back in July during our annual New Hope Thanksgiving day. I was speaking to our local community church members, so some of this speaks directly to them, but in most of it I hope you will find personal encouragement.
(The above picture is included because when I look at a blog I like to see a picture of some sort. This one is from last week's surprise party for Nancy.)

Many times in the past few months I’ve been ready to die. Not because I was in despair or because I gave up on living, but because I was so aware that God is in control of my life that I was at peace with death if that was His best plan for me. I was ready for whatever God had planned for me and if that was death then I welcomed it. I came to the reality that I am nothing without God. He is in complete control. I am at His mercy and that is a good thing.

In my life, I wasn’t always at this place of peace. In fact at the time I got sick with hepatitis this past February, it had been almost exactly one year before to the day that I prayed the following prayer to God, “God, I’ve read so much and been challenged by what I’ve read this past year, but my walk hasn’t changed much. Please move me, goad me, steer me, whatever to where, what and how I can make necessary changes. Continue to stretch me and give me what I need to please you—faith.”

I believe that since February of this year I have been in the process of God answering this prayer in my life.

When I was so sick with hepatitis that I couldn’t walk the length of my house without having difficulty breathing, when I was so sick I couldn’t even sit up but about 2 hours a day, when I was so sick I had to sleep most of the day and it tired me to talk with visitors, I came to a reliance on God that I hadn’t known before. For the first time I was desperately aware that He is the air I breathe!!! Without him I couldn’t have taken another breath. When it became a challenge even to draw in air to my lungs, I came to a much deeper appreciation of the breath of God—His Holy Spirit who sustained me in that sickness. When I was unable to sit up and read the Word, I came to a love and a hunger for His Word. As soon as I was able to have the energy to read, I devoured the scripture. But, imagine reading about the awesomeness, magnificence and greatness of God and not having the energy to get out of bed and kneel down before your Maker who gave you life and sustains you. That is a moment of painful reality. It made me never want to be in a place ever again where I pass up the opportunity to praise Him! So, I praise God for the suffering I went through because I now know what it is to be unable to physically kneel, physically raise my hands, to have the breath to sing. I now have been moved and goaded by God Himself to take every opportunity to praise Him!!!

But that is not the end of my recent story of finding MORE OF GOD.

I spent about 8 weeks recovering from hepatitis. After recovering, I was well for about one week when we were hit by the charcoal truck and I found myself in bed again. But, this time I was in pain—not just tired and without energy. The issue I came face to face with after the accident was my own impatience with the circumstances of my life. Did I still trust God and His plan? Was I still willing to praise Him and trust Him with a damaged, painful body? I came to a place by the grace of God where I stopped asking for God to remove the physical scars that Kevin and I have because of the crash. I don’t want to be an Israelite who forgets God’s sovereign saving hand and if a scar will remind me of His love and goodness then I want the scar for the rest of my life on this earth.




During the time of sickness with hepatitis and injury from the accident my family and I had to also learn to receive help from those of you in this community. You brought food, cards, smiles, visits, prayers, took care of our kids, taught our kids and supported us in so many other ways. At the end of the bout with hepatitis I was ready to get busy serving other people, but found myself in the position of receiving once again. This was very difficult for me. But I know God’s plan is best. Suffering is the context of our oft quoted scripture from Romans 8:28. “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” What God was working in me for His good was not just a reliance on Him and a submission to the circumstances He provided for me, but also coming to know that people are a part of my life because He’s put them there!!

Geoff and I have said many times in the past few months that there is no where else in the world we’d rather be than at Kasana. You as a community have given to us and we have learned to receive.

The last part of my testimony this morning is to God’s sovereignty and faithfulness in the death of my father last month. He had been sick, but the doctors had said he might live another 6 months to a year so we planned for that. Once again, God’s plan is best—not ours or the doctors’. My Dad died very peacefully even though he had a disease which causes difficult death. God gently took Him and He died quietly by my mom’s side. There was no struggle and for that we are all grateful. I trust God’s timing in everything!! God enabled me to go to the U.S. To be with my mom and sisters for 3 weeks! It was sad to not be able to see or talk with my Dad, but it was a peaceful time because we knew God took Dad at the right time in His perfect way.

And thanks again to all of you who prayed for me and took care of my family while I was gone. It is a blessing and an honor and a joy to live in this community. God is GOOD!!

Because of these past few months of suffering I know and love my God more and I know and love you all more! Praise God for answering my prayer of a year ago!!!

I hope reading the above testimony is a blessing and encouragement to you. And now, I need to go teach music class to the kids. You can be sure I'll impress on them that the gift of music is from GOD!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Amy Zilverberg said...

Thank you, Mary Britton, for your testimony! It encouraged me to walk with God in faith no matter what I am going through and to enjoy Him. He does hold my breath in His hands and He is amazing!
I am so glad that I got to visit with you and get to know you and your family during those months. Thank you! Please send my greetings to your family and to the David family!
Love, Amy Zilverberg (Institute '09)

Amy said...

Mary that was an amazing blog entry! An amazing story that is for sure.
I'm so grateful to God that you are miraculously better and healed and He has brought you through so much this last year!
Praise you God!!