Sunday, March 8, 2020

“Britton Current Events” or “The Case of the Bored American Salesman”


***Heads Up! This blog is a tad raw!***

“Britton Current Events” has been the name of the game in this blog space for the past 13 years.  But, these days? I often wonder whether ANY of our “events” are notable? 

Currently, Friday night, the two youngest were dropped off at friends’ to enjoy a movie night and the youthful shenanigans that go on when 6-8 teenagers are together. Geoff and Toby carried on to some yums yums at Chipotle and then to REI to peruse outdoor equipment as a part of preparing Toby for activities by identifying needed items for his pursuit of an outdoor leadership degree over the course of the next four years at JBU. I’m home with the grandparents, having cooked a stellar (ha! Ha!) dinner of spaghetti and homemade bread. Why write about that?

How exciting is that compared to the stories of Uganda and her people which we’ve so often shared with you in this blog?  

What have our days become? How is our transition going and for crying out loud, WHAT are we transitioning to???? I can’t quantify or qualify an answer to that question most days, and the least I can say most of the time is, “I don’t know”. 

Hanging in limbo is what I feel quite often. And yet, from the core of who I am, I fight that. This is just “a season,” as so many have said to me. Heck, I’ve said it to myself. But, I don’t want it to be a season of nothing, NO-Thing, void, a holding pattern until “real life” shows up. This is life and I want to LIVE it!!!! But, honestly, Denver, for all its convenience and ease is B-O-R-I-N-G compared to the life we’ve lived the past 13 years. Yet, before I can fully engage here in Colorado, I must attend to the very real need for us, for me, to adequately process the loss we have incurred by leaving Uganda. And the depletion and loss I feel has so far hindered me from fully engaging the transition process in a healthy manner.

I recently rewatched, “Cast Away”. I cried. What a picture of intense transition, loss, and shattered hope, yet the final scene hints at new adventures and new love. In watching it I found myself shedding tears for the first time in months over the loss I’ve experienced through leaving all that had become a norm for me. Regardless of how challenging or stressful some cross-cultural situations had become, New Hope Uganda was still a place of thriving on so many levels. Here in Aurora, CO? What is my purpose? Big question, not even a little answer is formed in my mind. “Cast Away” seemed to open an emotional door that was jammed shut. When the tears came so did a bit of understanding of what I’ve experienced in leaving a place I’ve loved for so long.

Sure, the “excitement” of Uganda also presents its own challenges and stressors, but that seems so far away at this moment and looks so inviting. I wrote in my journal today, “I WANT TO GO BACK TO UGANDA!” 

But, do I? No. I am convinced that here is where we need to be at this time. Yet, being convinced doesn’t equate to contentment.

I’ve presented here a snapshot of how I’m processing our transition out of full-time work with New Hope Uganda and into American life. Prayers are VERY WELCOME as I desire to gain some healing and understanding of where I’ve been and where I’m going.

And, what about the second half of the title I’ve utilized at the top of this blog? The best way to describe most of Geoff’s days, unless he’s on the road traveling and speaking about New Hope Uganda, is, “the case of the BORED American salesman”!!!

For those of you who know Geoff, I ask you to picture him at a small desk in a cold, dark room without windows to the sunshine, alone and working solely on a computer—no face-to-face personal interaction, no mentoring, no teaching, no young person in front of him asking life’s difficult questions. Such sums up his days. Unless he is traveling and speaking to others (which he LOVES) about New Hope Uganda and how they can become a part of such a great work, he is in that small, lonely room. And that, my friends, is the picture of a bored American salesman. Salesman? Well, technically, that is what he’s doing...selling others on the ministry of New Hope Uganda. Of course, he LOVES New Hope Uganda, so it’s an enjoyable process, but what is stifling him is the required preparation time for a speaking event or meeting in which he gets to engage others in the beauty of New Hope Uganda’s ministry.

If all of the above makes us sound a bit down, then I’ve accurately communicated. The somber mood doesn’t hover all day, every day, but it certainly is something we have to fight much more than we’ve been used to in the past many years. 

I’m just being real, folks. And so, we ask for your prayers. Sure, contentment and doing all things without grumbling or complaining go hand in hand. We have a huge part to play in this; an increase in our thanksgiving level is on us. Yet, we’d love your prayers for us to experience God’s encouragement; we’d love to increase on the contentment meter. 

On the positive side of Britton news, today the five of us went hiking in Castlewood Canyon just south of where we live. The temps were in the 70s, the sun kissed us warmly all afternoon and we scaled heights affording us spectacular views. Days like today remind us of the beauty of God’s creation around us and we’re grateful not only to live near numerous hiking and climbing areas, but to have the gorgeous Colorado weather that beckons us outdoors! Looking up and out certainly emotionally boosted us all today!!! So, yeah, today was NOT boring!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Feel for you! Praying.

David Cron said...

Hi Mary, I think I understand a little of what you feel. Thanks for the realistic update. You're in my prayers.
David Cron