"Stronger Than Death"

Since August Geoff and I have been on sabbatical from the ministry at New Hope Uganda. One of the books we’re utilizing during this time is Returning Well, a book which helps us to analyze our thirteen years in Uganda and brings us into an understanding of who we are in the midst of what has been and what will be. I’ve continued to not only work through Returning Well, but also read other books. Having time to read and complete a book is glorious! 

In my desire to devour inspiring works, I was pleased to be able to receive an early copy of a new book, Stronger Than Death: How Annalena Tonelli Defied Terror and Tuberculosis in the Horn of Africa, written by Rachel Pieh Jones, a missionary currently serving with her family in Djibouti.

My emotional response to the life of Annalena Tonelli was visceral: painful, disturbing, gripping and gut-wrenching conviction gave way to strained facial expressions; I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until many sentences into paragraphs. The author, Rachel Pieh Jones, fantastically tells the story of this unusual (extreme understatement!) Italian woman as revealed to her by many who walked alongside Annalena in Italy, Kenya, Somalia and Somaliland.

The life and actions of Annalena Tonelli are underserved by the descriptor, “passionate”.  I not only unknowingly held my breath, but gasped at retellings of her life choices and subsequent challenging situations. Truthfully, Annalena would not call them challenging, but simply explain her behavior and choices as “normal” life experienced while truly loving and serving the poor. As Jones points out Annalena would NOT want to be likened to Mother Teresa, but in the reading of her life story one can’t help when the mind wanders to comparison. Indeed, much to her friends’ and family’s dismay she is frequently termed the “Mother Teresa of Africa”.

For me, in a sabbatical time of personal and professional evaluation, this book draws me deeper into the emotional and analytical discoveries of who I am and have been and what we’ve done in Uganda these past thirteen years. It was almost unbearable to read the quotes from Annalena—I felt so judged. It was consoling to read Jones’s take; like minds find comfort together. As I read I expected to find a deeper level of acceptance of myself, my work, my struggles, and an ability to reframe my victories. And though I was significantly on edge at times during the reading, I was not disappointed. 

In 2003, Jones herself lived just minutes from where Annalena’s life came to an end in Somaliland. That intersection of her life and Annalena’s eventually took her on a journey of discovery of not only Annalena, but of herself. It is a narrative you must read! 

Through Annalena’s story and Jones’s telling of it I found my thirteen years of “sacrifice” to be not just vindicated, but celebrated in my own heart. For a few weeks now I have been revisiting my failures, weaknesses, mistakes and regrets. To have both real success and real failure side by side where only God can heal my lack of ability to honestly and realistically process it all is what I long for.  Reading Stronger Than Death served as a piece of the healing process God is taking me through as we evaluate where we’ve been and where we’re going.

Stronger Than Death squeezed my heart as I read. I felt amped up reading this recount of Annalena’s life. It was almost exhausting and yet to say that is embarrassing given that I read it while sitting in a comfortable chair, in a beautiful house, far from war, starvation, conflict and disease. However, the truth remains that to read this story is to be drawn into the stress and tension that many who worked tirelessly alongside Annalena felt daily.

However, Jones has a way of breaking up the consuming tension. Amidst the story of death, destruction, violations and desperation, she ably intermixes events which allow a laugh of release to penetrate taut muscles, giving way to exhalation.

Her analysis of Annalena’s faith is stretching; Jones’s conclusions are not always mine. Jones’s retelling interspersed with her own take-away of Annalena’s life is more than just a challenging read. It is a crucible upon which you are forced to dissect your own faith.

I found myself in disagreement with some of Annalena’s choices, yet, I could not dismiss her strength of conviction and execution of her faith. There were times that I believed Jones to be too generous with her conclusion of Annalena’s underlying motivation.  I was disturbed by some of the seeming emphasis on applauding Annalena’s love of people to the exclusion of what I believe to be the ultimate act of love and service which is to lead them to the only one true God who ultimately and completely saves. In Annalena’s words we find her firmly fixed on the poor first and then to her Christian faith. Jones exposes how she did not seek to convert her Islamic patients or coworkers to Christianity, but to simply love them. Of course, to love people unconditionally is tremendous. She undisputedly accomplished great and heroic things in the midst of disaster and war to heal and care for the poor, but lack of leading them to attend to their greatest need, Christ himself, unsettled me. God IS Love; there can be no real love without God, so to elevate the human need and the subsequent desire to serve the human need above the place of faith in the One who gives the real, true strength to carry out any action of real love is to work at a skewed pace and focus.  These kind of strong reactions typified my reading of Stronger Than Death. Despite disagreement with either Annalena or Jones’s take on Annalena’s working out of her faith and love, there is an intense and consistent draw to continue reading.

There is no denying that Annalena’s life and work reveal a unique approach to service and ministry. For instance, there is a retelling by one of her former coworkers describing how Annalena bent over to work with patients. From their hard physical labor with the patients back issues developed, yet Annalena never complained, she just continued working. 

At this I thought of all of our talk at New Hope Uganda and in the missionary community at large about “rest” and “self-care” and me, being one intimately acquainted with back problems and ongoing pain which I have addressed with care by doing exercises and refusing to lift or carry heavy items, I felt a bit guilty when I read this account, but also a little angry at Annalena for being “successful” at extreme self-sacrifice when I have sought to care for myself in tandem with serving others. The dichotomous tension forced me to analyze my own approach to both self-sacrifice and self-care and to ultimately refuse to either beat up myself or give myself a blue ribbon of commendation.

Jones transcends the misunderstood descriptions others have written or supposed and presents a picture of this woman who will challenge you to the very core of who you think you are at your very best. I found Annalena to be a woman who is not married to only one idea, but is able to do whatever it takes to serve the poor.

In addition, this story reveals the multi-faceted attention to culture that must be addressed when serving the poor cross-culturally. Of course that seems obvious, but the valuable cultural understandings gained while reading Jones’s account reminds me of our own cross-cultural discoveries these past thirteen years. As I read of Annalena’s life I see a reflection of mistakes made and victories gained in a culture foreign to us as we relationally worked alongside our Ugandan friends. And yet, I cringe at any reflection that seems to place me alongside her—I am tempted to say I don’t measure up. Yet, I am reminded to not compare myself to her. I am so very different than Annalena, not better or less.

To be honest, I struggled with some of Jones’s own rendering regarding the extreme nature of Annalena’s faith, love and service to the poor. But, I urge you to read the book and draw your own conclusions as God speaks to you through this biographical piece. It was released on October 1st and can be found on Amazon. 

On Wednesday of this week Geoff and I will fly to Uganda for a brief two and a half week visit to attend a wedding and graduation as well as fully involve ourselves relationally with our Ugandan and expat friends. As we leave the kids behind in Denver with Geoff’s parents, and to get themselves to and from school and sporting events, I wonder about the timing of the visit. The kids are sad that they are not able to go. Please pray for us as we travel, pray for the kids as they miss their friends and this opportunity to see them, and pray for all of us to be a blessing to all we meet along the way.