Contemplative
I believe the word tends to be overused. Catch-all, smooth-sounding, alluring in a way. But, overused.
Of late, I must admit I've succumbed.
Can't help it. I'm contemplative.
Be it the departure of dear friends. The arrival of our very first team in all the nine years we've lived in Uganda, the current struggles of our friend Aunt Ketty in her cancer journey or the daily pain level I am experiencing. Contemplative is where I've found myself as I traverse across the New Hope property.
Or maybe, forget all that. Maybe it's just the prednisone burst I'm on right now for the big ol' backside pain that has been ailin' me since early June. Makes me verbose of mouth and mind.
Whatever it is, I won't try to diagnose, but simply share out some of what I've been mulling and musing.
Look at the word. COMTEMP(T)plative. If I focus too heavily on the introspective I soon reach contempt. And sadness, sullenness.
Could be contempt for the situation I'm in. Contempt for those that presume upon me. Contempt for myself at how I presume upon others. Then the sullen, sad state takes over and I fail to appreciate the myriad of blessings that are present in my life's circumstances.
The prescription: thankfulness.
Thankful for our Father God who is ever present. He gives the perspective I need.
And what is that?
Thankful for the friends whose house I've just sauntered past. They are no longer there. They are now permanently gone from New Hope. But, they are still dear friends and the memories are warm.
Thankful for the friends who flew away this past week. All dear and close, but now temporarily far from here. BUT, they are coming back! Thankful for that!
Thankful for our "family" team that has been here for the past two weeks, yet heads toward home tomorrow. Having family here has been bitter sweet. I find myself falling into the rhythms of our days. Just enjoying their smiling faces entering my front door continually throughout my day and bringing their laughs and silliness. Yesterday, however, I realized I had gotten too comfortable and let their presence become commonplace. Today I am soaking it all in and thoroughly enjoying the gift of THEM!!!
Thankful, yes, that in the midst of cancer and trial, Aunt Ketty is coming home from the hospital today, to her children. She continues on in her struggle, full of faith and anticipation for ALL of God's goodness--whatever form that takes. And though we don't know His time table, we know Him to be true and faithful.
Thankful that we have had the privilege of not only receiving our family and friends for this short time, but in getting to talk and relate in a place they had only heard about, and until now, we felt they couldn't relate to--now they can, camaraderie is a blessing.
So, thankfulness replaces the downturn toward contempt. It lifts me again to the true perspective that it all belongs to Him and so do I.
Whether I am missing friends or struggling to soak in all their sweetness while they are present in the same place, He remains.
That's it. All I've got for now. (Actually, I have lots more, but I am very aware of the "prednisone effect" and in such a condition, self-control must be grasped and utilized.)
Blessings.
