Nineteen Years Post Y2K

Trying to pare down notable events of our 2019 is like trying to squeeze all the IKEA parts back into their original box. At the end of this tome may the stories of people, laughter, tears, and answered prayers reveal His sure hand on the Britton Family and New Hope Uganda. Hopefully the things I leave out remain as dear memories in this old brain and heart, and the things I include will both give you a picture of our life tale and provide you the occasional chuckle. 

Geoff and I welcomed 2019 in our usual way. We attempted to drown out the loud music and poor quality, double-digit decibel sound systems blaring overnight prayer events while we turned in early. The kids, however, whooped it up past midnight with their friends. They pitched tents and enjoyed “roughing it” in the wild of our back compound with other missionary kids from around Uganda. New Year’s Eve was the final night of a two day, two night soirée in which the boys showed their friends around Kasana and introduced them to our remote village, and also ate WAY TOO much junk food. (The sugar fest was compliments of so many of you who sent multiple boxes of American confectionary treats. THANK YOU (?!?!) for giving us insane amounts of what we can’t get in Uganda!!!!). 

Toby and the other MK boys trying to recreate a photo their fellow
female MKs had posted

Sweets upon sweets!!!!!

After New Hope’s annual 5-day envisioning conference in January, Geoff and I both taught sessions during the first Investment Year training. We LOVED interacting and encouraging the young adults in IY! What we miss most about being on the ground at New Hope are the rich relationships with the youth. We also miss our mentoring relationships!

Teaching the what, why and how of journaling to the IY group

Geoff interacts with both IYs and senior high students at a career day hosted by the Early Adulthood office

Once January turned to Feb the train which was headed toward a June furlough careened on greased tracks! There never seemed to be enough time to do it all—visit all the friends, keep up with homeschool, host visitors, attend the emergencies, make dinner in less than 3 hours (!), have that intense mentoring session or encourage the struggling, bare the heart to a dear friend and get enough sleep!! Geoff gave many 18-hour days focused on bolstering the Early Adulthood Office staff in anticipation of his upcoming absence. Almost everyday I sorted, cleaned, culled, reorganized or repurposed keepsakes, junk, practical bits and records in anticipation of time growing progressively scarce. Kevin and Acacia dug into their final semester of homeschool while Toby balanced a dual focus of school studies and making final memories with as many friends as he could. He gave both 100%! This translated into a lot of traveling around Uganda and many concessions of when and where he finished up school assignments! At this point Kevin and Acacia held out hope that they would return to homeschool after our planned furlough—a disappointment they’ve had to grapple with now that we’re staying in the states for an undetermined time frame.

Toby and his friends Godwin and David. This time he didn't have to travel to them, but they came all the way out to our village to see Toby!

Toby and Abraham, his best friend (since they were 5 years old!) 

It took quite a lot of maneuvering, but we managed to pull off a TOTAL surprise for Geoff's 50th birthday! I wasn't sure how it was going to succeed, but just before people were scheduled to arrive, one of our David Family boys seriously hurt himself, requiring us to take him to the local hospital. The crowd gathered while we were gone and we got back right on time!!! (The boy is fine now!!)

The crowd required Geoff to wear a crazy "Birthday" hat. 

So many people came, the crowd spilled out onto the veranda 

In January and February I was also sorting through my emotions of a cancer diagnosis given to my mother just prior to Christmas. Geoff graciously rearranged some finances and scheduling to make it possible for me to SURPRISE my mom with a three-week visit in February and March.  

Before they took me to the airport we met Nabukeera in Entebbe, where she attended university and together we celebrated Geoff's birthday. (I flew the day after his surprise party.)

I REALLY surprised my mom--so much so she had to sit down!!  https://youtu.be/PhTCJeUwaYY  

 I was able to accompany her to many of her early radiation appointments. Notice I said, “accompany” not “drive her”—that is because my mother insists on DRIVING EVERYWHERE herself. The woman is amazing and at 79-year-old she makes ME tired!! (She’s still working at least 20 hours each week!)

Mom, my high school friend Dianne, and me. It was therapy to be with my mom AND see my good friend!!!

So many families at New Hope took care of my family while I was gone. We miss the New Hope community SO, SO much! And, my mother has been cleared of cancer—hallelujah!  

In March Kevin turned 15!

He was two when we arrived in Uganda! Where does the time go? As I almost daily think about his 13 years of growing up Ugandan, I pray for his transition to the American culture. 

In April some missionary kids on Spring break from boarding school invited Kevin and Toby to Jinja for a night of hijinks. Sending Toby and Kevin off with a driver, who went the looooooong way around, turning a 3-hour journey into 5-hours was a point for patience, prayer and fodder for their, “only in Uganda,” memories. Also not to be forgotten is their return home on public transport—4 hours and many taxis made for some tired boys—thankfully Toby is adept at navigating around Uganda on public transport. One thing we miss about homeschool is the ability to adjust the school schedule to accommodate life’s unusual adventures! Just before the boys went to Jinja, Geoff and I went northeast to Kumi district and then to Kapchorwa and a few other districts visiting friends and taking a “photo safari” of our beautiful, unique Uganda! Along this particular route we were given, by the family of a coworker and friend, a live turkey. Have you ever had to consider which hotel to choose based on whether or not there was a safe place for a live turkey to sleep? (We knew “safe” to be important because we had previously lost gift fowl in precious encounters with roaming nocturnal wildlife and didn’t want to go through THAT again!!!!! Well, actually, when we couldn’t find the turkey first thing in the morning, we did have a bit of hope that it had disappeared and we wouldn’t have to worry about it pooping in the back of the van. For better or worse, we found it.)

Our final full month in Uganda was a daily emotional roller coaster. The seemingly brief 31 days of May brought many losses: we held numerous "last" dinners with dear friends, sold our car to fellow missionaries, and Geoff led/taught his last Father Heart Retreat with the IY students! 

Dinner with the Katabazi family--great, longtime friends! We will always remember being awakened at 2:30 a.m. in the middle of a torrential rainstorm. Seems Aunt Noelia was ready to deliver and needed to get to the hospital ASAP. We hadn't been in the country very long and Geoff wasn't sure where he was going!!

Dinner with our first Kasana neighbors, the Muwanguzi family ...Oh, the stories!

The final packing of our house made real to me our leaving the ministry we’d loved for thirteen years. Later in the month we enjoyed a family reunion for David Family. We had a great turnout of alums!!!!

Uncle Mulu and Senyonyi are all smiles at the reunion!

Three dear daughters from David Family who came to the reunion also came by the house for a special visit.

The timing was perfect as we got to say good-bye to many dear ones we don’t normally see. Following the reunion we had a special dinner and pow wow with our three Ugandan kids, Nabukeera, Sam and Lydia. We shared and talked of their futures—it does my soul good to see them growing and maturing! 

L to R Sam, Benita, Benja, Nabukeera, Beckham, Lydia

The EYO members surprised us with a goat roast and special evening of appreciation for Geoff's involvement and leadership in the EYO outreaches

We had numerous visits with dear ones who stopped by before we left. 

Kambo, Nabukeera, Moses and Sam join us at the table--unplanned, but oh, so welcome!

Close friends of the kids surprised us with a sweet visit on our final night.

Former fellow staff, from India, just happened to be in the country just before we left and we were able to share a quick visit and hugs.

Sweet, dear young lady from David Family who blessed me with an impromptu visit

IY girls who stopped by for special hugs!

Our last Sunday. It was so difficult to say good-bye to the church!

They prayed a special blessing on us

The very last weekend, just a few days before we flew out of the country, we had to put our sweet doggie down. One of our David family alums is now a vet and we were all together in a private place behind our school banda as we watched her go. It was too much for me, I took my tears into the house while Geoff and the kids dug a hole for her and planted her favorite fruit tree, a jackfruit, over her burial spot. I still get teary when I see her picture or think of her. Saying good-bye, to dear people and sweet pets, is NOT easy—oh, the emotions! 

Dear, sweet Bubbly, snacking on cassava she stole from the David Family compost!

Our last photo with Medi, who kept our compound in order, and Jesca, who kept our house clean for the past 13 years!!!!! 

The morning we left numerous people came by to say good-bye.

Of course, I HAVE to include a picture of Kakande! He came running to tell us good-bye!

Just 4 km down the road we HAD to stop the car to give special hugs to our close friend Irene! Tears on all of our faces!

And not too long after stopping to hug Irene, we saw Uncle Jonnes by the side of the road!!! He gave us some final blessings and sent us on our way!

On June 4th we spent a last day with Sam and Nabukeera. After dinner that night the kids walked home to the guest house and played around in the streets, taking photos together. 

The next morning we all had brunch with Jay, Vicki, Jennie and Elizabeth Dangers. They drove us to the airport where we could barely hold it together. It was, perhaps the last time we would fly out of Uganda together with all five of us Brittons! Tears, prayers, hugs over and over again.

There were very few smiles as we gave hugs. Sam held onto Toby for a VERY long time.  

Finally the time came and we walked off toward the terminal. So. Very. Difficult! 

Praise God for the Dangers who loved on Sam and Nabukeera after we left. 

We landed in Denver on the 7th, not sure we were yet ready to be Americans.

The boys were excited about doing yard work (??!??), but they were ready to start at 7 a.m. I had to give them a quick run down of American etiquette ... NOT before 9 a.m. Before the clock chimed 9:01, they fired up the lawn mower and weed whacker!

Regardless of where we were in our heart-transition, our bodies got moving only two days later as we drove  with Geoff’s parents to Telluride for nine days of hiking, exploring, biking and resting. Geoff and I were still recovering from Malaria, which we got the final week in Uganda, so the altitude kicked us just a bit! One day we popped over to Ouray and explored an old mine and the historic downtown. If you’re ever in Ouray, CO, go to Maggie’s Kitchen for the BEST burgers EV-ER!

A fun part of Telluride was having to take the gondola to the nearby grocery store. Seems we only needed cream and green onions that day!!!!

I think it's definite therapy to take a family vacation with the grandparents!!!!! And a gondola ride in the beautiful mountains of Telluride is icing on the cake!

Though we were still recovering from Malaria (!!!) we were able to unwind a bit and enjoy hiking!

On June 19th, we celebrated Toby’s 18th birthday by going to one of those movie theaters where you recline and they serve you drinks, snacks or even a full meal. Oh, America! The excess!

I hid a surprise birthday gift for Toby, from one of his best Ugandan friends, in our luggage. He was very surprised and thrilled to receive it!

And the very next day we saw Front Range Christian School for the first time! A staff member, who later in the year would turn out to be Acacia’s discipleship group leader, gave us a thorough tour of the school. We were impressed and very thankful to be so, since we had chosen the school only by what we saw on the internet!!!!! 

As soon as the tour was finished we drove out of the parking lot and off to California. 

Acacia took the craft kits FRCS gave us for our road trip and immediately made goofy glasses! We were on our way!!!!!

I drove the “night shift” in which we met torrential rains, road construction and roads lacking lane lines! At one point when everyone else was asleep, I thought I had veered onto the wrong side of the road as it appeared a semi was headed straight for us. I pulled off into the dirt only to find it was an optical illusion due to poor visibility. On reaching Long Beach we were all pretty wiped out, but still started three weeks of visiting friends, family, churches and supporters.

Every furlough, it seems, we make our way to the Cheesecake Factory with our friends and supporters Tom and Arlene. (Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling well that day.)

Feast your eyes on a table of global Aunties!!! We couldn't believe we all pulled it off, but we had lunch with Allison, Katie and Constance, none of which abide on the same continent! Having these kinds of constant, long-lasting relationships weighs emotional anchor for us!

 The very next day we took Toby and Kevin down to San Diego to be a part of an evangelistic basketball camp organized by a young pastor couple we’d met in Uganda. The boys have great stories of their few days there, but the best is when Toby was baptized by fire on the San Diego freeways! It went like this . . .The pastor said to Toby, “You can drive? Here, take my keys (tosses keys) and car (points to car) and follow that guy to the beach.” Toby and his passengers quickly jumped in as the other car was already moving. He followed the car as best as he could, but it was moving pretty fast through city streets and then onto the freeway! If he lost the guy in front of him he had no idea where he was or where they were going! The first time on a Southern California major artery and he had no time to think anything about skill or safety, but just keeping his eyes set on Mr. “Quick to Disappear”. I have no doubt that his present good driving skills have everything to do with said baptism!!!

One of my three sisters came to spend time with me while we were in Long Beach and was excited to take me shopping. She had grand ideas of helping her fashion-less, missionary sister get some up-to-date threads. Oops. Disappointment. I found a packet of socks that I liked—that was IT! I’ve always found it hard to jump right into the current fashion once back from Uganda. Clothes styles are simply not appealing to me until I’ve had some time to get used to the American environment.

We made an overnight trip up to Fresno to see Geoff's sister Lisa and her  daughter, Nicole and husband Will.

Back in Colorado, we hosted good friend, John Morton. Geoff took the kids camping down near Mt. Princeton. Fun and also a lesson in what to NOT forget when you go camping. Seems we know how to survive the Ugandan bush, but have forgotten how to camp in America! 

John, Toby and Kevin in St. Elmo

The first night it rained heavily, but sunshine in the morning made for great hiking!

And speaking of getting used to the American environment, getting the kids ready for school was a cultural adventure!!!! Banange! I’m glad we didn’t have to do that these past 13 years! 

See? We managed to find some new clothes for the kids, just in time to take "1st day of school" photos. Of course, there was a lot of goofing around in between shots!

cross country meet, Washington Park, Denver

Once classes started they fit right in. It was the first time ever the kids had the opportunity to join organized sports and they loved it! We loved it, too, because we met a LOT of new people as we attended sports events. There’s also something called, “P3 hours” at FRCS. Parents sign up to volunteer for various events. Each parent has to give 30 P3 hours in the school year. So, we jumped right in: Geoff drove the van for the girls’ volleyball team; I received attendees (and their entrance fees) at both volleyball and football games, and Geoff learned how to keep the books during the volleyball matches.

Acacia and teammates listen intently to coach's instructions.

Toby gave 150% to learning American football!

Also in August, Geoff and I started our sabbatical which had to be creatively balanced with all the above, and more, school activities. 

Geoff, Toby and Acacia volunteered to represent FRCS at the annual Littleton Parade

In September, we kept on the same course. Here we are in our 50s having to manage, for the first time—when most of our contemporaries are finished with this stage, all the demands of getting kids to and from school, to and from sporting practices, meets and games; buying enough food to keep them fed through the day while they’re at school; and keeping track of a schedule that seems to change each and every day.  I also joined the Mom’s In Prayer group which meets once a week. It has helped this introverted newbie get to know some lovely and dedicated believers!  Our sabbatical focus added a life coach to the mix in September, and we found ourselves somedays happily diving into the process of evaluating our past 13 years, but other days I was literally so tired I just stared at the walls and thought, “well, maybe I should do something, ... nah.” Geoff seemed to keep moving much better than I did. He enjoyed being on the computer surfing around the kids’ school website learning all the new stuff. Not me. I mostly did nothing, wondering if I’d ever find the energy to move forward.

Meanwhile, we were also in the throes of cleaning up our home in Pueblo, which had been a rental these past 13 years, but was destroyed by our renters. So many friends rallied with us to get it ready to put on the market. It was a lot of work, more so for our friends who had aimed to get it cleaned up before we ever landed in the states. However, it was such a task that it took more time and manpower than any of us had imagined. Once on the market we had offers right away and were able to close on it just days before Geoff and I flew to Uganda for a two week visit. We are thankful it sold so quickly and are happy to have it behind us! While Geoff and I were enjoying Uganda and our beloved people there, the kids were finishing up their football, volleyball and cross country seasons and taking themselves to and from school each day. The grandparents took great care of them and the kids took great care of the grandparents. 

In Uganda, Geoff and I attended the wedding of a young man Geoff mentored for many years, 
and the university graduation of our dear daughter Nabukeera.

The happy couple are seen here arriving at their reception. They smiled all day despite heavy rains throughout!

We took Nabukeera out to her favorite restaurant after the graduation ceremony!

In between those two book-end events we packed up some more of our house items and visited as much as the days and nights would allow. 

Having a little fun with the son of our dear Jesca (R), who worked with us for all of our 13 years!!

We also spent a special family day in Kampala with Nabukeera, Sam, Lydia, her kids, and Wilber who met us for lunch.

It was so much fun to spend the day together in Kampala, just us and our kids!

An added treat was catching up with Wilber!

 I could go on for three more pages about the joys of our time in Uganda, but suffice it to say it was good for our soul and we’re grateful to God for providing us the means to go!!!

Just one week after landing back in the U.S. Geoff’s mom awakened us in the night saying she needed to go to the ER. She ended up hospitalized for a couple of days and it reiterated to us that our decision to stay here with them is the right decision. His dad is also having some significant health challenges and we believe our being here has proven very helpful.

Beginning in August we had visited a number of churches near our home in Aurora, and finally settled in October on, “The Way,” which is about ten minutes from the house. It is small, about 120 members and is a good fit for our family. We love the Bible teaching, great worship and friendly, committed believers. The pastor’s wife grew up in Tanzania, so she has blessed the kids with her genuine interest in them and their well-being!!!

Last month Geoff began discussions on what involvement with New Hope Uganda Ministries here in the U.S. might look like. With fall sports over, the boys turned their attention to basketball. Toby and Geoff visited Colorado Christian University, John Brown University and North Greenville University with a side jaunt to see his sister Linda and her husband Jan in Alabama. 

Jan, Linda, Toby and Geoff in Alabama! It had been three years since they'd seen each other

We celebrated Thanksgiving in the states for the first time since 2007, in Pueblo with Geoff’s cousins and their families. 

Thanksgiving 2019!

The next day Acacia turned 17!!!

Acacia flies over to give Grandma a hug of thanks for her birthday gift!

Just a few days after her birthday, she took the test for her driver's permit. We're looking forward to another driver in the family!!!

Now that we’ve entered the last month of 2019, Geoff’s talk of possible work with NHUM has quickly parlayed into official online meetings, setting plans for travel beginning in January and taking the position of VP of Ministry Relations. Toby returned to Colorado Christian University, this time with me, so that I could see it and he could get a better feel as to the normal tenor of the campus. He will make a decision in the next few weeks between CCU and JBU. One thing I know, he will not be living with us everyday come next fall, and that’s starting to hit me hard. I know many of you have already been through this stage—it’s not easy, that’s for sure!

As soon as the kids’ finish their final exams on Friday, we will celebrate Christmas with Geoff’s parents. Early the next morning we drive to California. This will be the first time since 2007 that my family and I will be with my mother and sisters for Christmas!!!

We thoroughly enjoyed decorating for Christmas a couple weeks ago.

And, we’re looking forward to 2020! I can’t believe Y2K was 20 years ago! We didn’t even have kids when Y2K took us from the 19s to the 2-0s. 

What will the next 20 years be like? I’m thankful God knows and I don’t have to figure it out. With His faithfulness and goodness, provision and wisdom, I don’t need to figure it all out. I only need to yield and trust Him.

Woohoo! What a ride!

#givingtuesday

THE REASON TO GIVE...A HASH TAG?

Giving, do we do it just because of a hashtag? Is it only during this season we find ourselves giving? Today in the midst of all the FB posts, Instagram pics and charities that bombarded my inbox with the hashtag #givingtuesday. I found myself pondering the thought of giving. Really, what is it all about?

As people, we like to think that we are good at giving, but are we? We easily give advice, we generally give time to things, we might give affection or maybe a hug, and we can easily give someone a piece of our mind. But when we start talking about giving money, let’s be honest, it’s definitely not as easy as giving our opinion…

Yet, God has called us to give, and to be a blessing, not just in November or December. One of the things I love about our youth outreach group in Uganda, EYO is their theme verse. In Genesis 12 we find that God called Abram into a relationship of faith and right away expressed His intentions. It was to bless Abram, but not for what most of us think of when we consider being blessed. God intended to bless Abram in order to make him a blessing—can I say to be a giver? That’s EYO’s intention, to take the blessing God has given them and turn it to blessing others.

Maybe you are thinking, “Yes, I know and as soon as God really blesses me I will begin to give”…But that’s not how God intends it. Remember, when I talk about EYO, I am talking about Ugandan youth, orphans and children in need of sponsorship. The Bible tells us that if we can’t manage the world’s financial system then we will not experience true spiritual blessing (Luke 16:11). Look at the widow in Mark 12:41-44…be honest, which of you has ever dropped “a penny” into the offering? I am not talking about your guilt-driven emptying of your pockets of change because you forgot your check book, but a kind of giving when you gave all you had to give and it amounted to a penny. That is the kind of giving that gets Jesus’s attention, because it speaks of the heart condition of the giver. not Warren Buffett giving $100,000 to a charity…

The Apostle Paul knew what it was to give. He had learned how to be at peace and experience God’s blessing in all situations (Philippians 4:12). In Acts 20:35 he quotes Jesus (from another sermon that we don’t have recorded) on how much BETTER it is to give than receive. How could Paul say that and really what is God thinking by saying it’s better to GIVE than to receive? Isn’t receiving blessing the goal? CAN I JUST SAY, “NO!” 

Our giving is an opportunity for us to imitate the amazing God that we serve. You see, God is a giver and He gives more than “just enough.” God gives liberally (James 1:5) and lavishes his wealth (riches & grace) on His people. Even though James 1 doesn’t specifically talk about money, we know from Deuteronomy 8:18 that He is the one who gives the power to gain wealth. Now we’re talking! Gaining WEALTH! But, I am not really talking tonight about money, what I want to draw our attention to is our hearts. 

Where is your heart? Jesus, the revealer of what’s in our hearts, tells us that our treasures are directly connected to our hearts. In Matt 6:31 we see that our hearts are drawn to what we treasure. We seek after the things that are most important to us. How we approach giving is directly connected to our hearts. So, if you are like me tonight, let the thought be more about the state of your heart than which charity to give to. 

On this #givingtuesday don’t let your giving be compelled by a hash tag, but let God transform your heart and direct your giving according to His heart for this world. 

HP

Years ago (like 11 or so) a dear missionary family at New Hope Uganda hosted their fellow English friends for a visit. Word was the man of the couple had worked with HP for years. Anticipation and excitement settled in at the thought of receiving expert IT assistance in the days before our wireless “bush” internet was reality. Imagine my surprise when I learned he didn’t work at THAT HP, but another very familiar to our UK friends. His expertise was in HP Sauce. . . .an icon of British culture, named after London’s Houses of Parliament. 

As we’re on sabbatical I am often drawn back to our early years at New Hope while I work through the book, “Returning Well.” The above, and MANY other memories frequently overwhelm me at the years gone by, the challenges we faced, the victories we enjoyed and now, the unknown future. 

When Geoff and I went to Uganda last month to attend both a wedding and graduation of young adults dear to us, we also spent two weeks visiting the children and staff of New Hope Uganda. It was a very rich time as we received beloved friends at our house on site and spent most lunches and suppers in the homes of friends. But, being there without the kids was hard. Seeing their friends without them brought so many emotions. Our hearts continually camp out in two areas of the world!!!

Geoff with dear friends, Paul and Keith

In the home of our first Ugandan neighbors, the Muwanguzi family!  

Prior to leaving for this visit, it had become very clear to us that staying in the Denver area, specifically with Geoff’s parents, is what we are to do for the foreseeable future. Being on the ground in Uganda in October enabled us to announce this decision to the staff and children of New Hope in person and to answer their questions regarding what the future might look like for us. 

The decision was a long time in coming, yet so difficult to make reality. James 4:17 urged us to get off the fence and state our commitment to remain in the Denver area for the next season. “He who knows what is right and does not do it, for him it is sin.” Squarely aimed at our hearts, this verse made reality what we knew was to be. It is right for us to stay here in the U.S., to live with Geoff’s parents and be here for them as needs arise. Also, it makes sense for the kids to be able to finish out their high school years at Front Range Christian School instead of after this year returning to Uganda for only one more year (Kevin and Acacia’s senior year) before then again returning back to the U.S. for university.

Acacia played on a volleyball team for the first time this year. She amazed everyone at her ability to pick up the sport quickly and be an asset to the team.

Kevin started cross country with a bang. It's a perfect sport for him and he improved with each race, including going with the team to State for the first time in FRCS history!

Toby fulfilled a lifelong dream of playing American football and learned a lot during the season.

In many ways we are content. In many other ways I search for contentment.

HP.  But, I am not talking about London’s Houses of Parliament. Recently, as I was again contemplating where we’ve been, where we are and where we’re going I got a little stressed. So, I began to pray. “May I trust Your hand, Lord, over all. May I not fret over House, Home, Place or Purpose. I lay it all at Your feet.”

HP. House, Home, Place and Purpose. Each one has occupied an area of prominence in my heart during the past few months.

House. Living in someone else’s house speaks to me of an unsettled state. It’s not the type of nomadism I long for. And when it seems to lean a bit more permanent, well then that is a whole different kind of animal. And yet, I know this is where we’re supposed to be. However, when we add in the reality that we honestly wouldn’t be able to afford another place right now, even if it wasn’t a time for us to be close at hand for Geoff’s parents, pressure begins to rise. Yet, God isn’t asking us to do anything about a house except for live here for the moment. And so, I need to rest in that directive rather than let what isn’t being asked of us gnaw at me.

Home. In its essence, home is much more than simply the place I physically live, but the overlap gets confusing. This house of Geoff’s parents isn’t mine, but I live here. It is not my home, but my people are here and so we ARE home. The longing for a place, a house to call our own and then to again build home with my people pulls at me. But, that is not where God has us right now.

Place. Oh, so closely related to all of the above!!!!! Place has been Uganda for the past 13 years. Denver feels so temporary, but still God calls us here. We’re trying to fit in, but some days we just don’t. My heart has intense loyalty to Uganda, but loving family IN-PERSON is a blessing we’ve missed while in East Africa. Be still my heart and be content where God has you. So many conflicting emotions!

Purpose. This one trumps all. Regardless of where the House is (or whose it is), or our ability to make where we are Home, or which Place we find ourselves, Purpose ideally directs us, giving solid design to each day. Clear understanding of purpose, real purpose, only comes from God Himself—our creator and designer. And in these months of sabbatical seeking His purpose for us has frequently been our focus. We’ve progressed in our understanding of how the past 13 years feed into the next season, but we still have so much to process. Not having a job to go to or a set schedule or demands on us by others in ministry has left us feeling aimless some days. But, knowing that this season is foundational to the next one helps alleviate creeping guilt over doing “nothing.” 

One day this past week I freaked out about money and starting searching for registered nurse refresher courses. I thought, “I HAVE to do something to contribute!” But, as quick as I got on the computer and looked around, even sending out an email requesting info about a course, God reminded me it is not time yet to be off of sabbatical—I need to trust Him with timing, money and complete provision.

Regardless of the acronyms or the times of perceived “aimlessness” in our lives, God remains present and is faithful to us, His children. He is the author and finisher of our faith. These truths lead me.

Thanks for your prayers on our behalf. We need them. Sometimes I just want sabbatical to be over, but deep down I know He’s not finished with me yet in this season. 

"Stronger Than Death"

Since August Geoff and I have been on sabbatical from the ministry at New Hope Uganda. One of the books we’re utilizing during this time is Returning Well, a book which helps us to analyze our thirteen years in Uganda and brings us into an understanding of who we are in the midst of what has been and what will be. I’ve continued to not only work through Returning Well, but also read other books. Having time to read and complete a book is glorious! 

In my desire to devour inspiring works, I was pleased to be able to receive an early copy of a new book, Stronger Than Death: How Annalena Tonelli Defied Terror and Tuberculosis in the Horn of Africa, written by Rachel Pieh Jones, a missionary currently serving with her family in Djibouti.

My emotional response to the life of Annalena Tonelli was visceral: painful, disturbing, gripping and gut-wrenching conviction gave way to strained facial expressions; I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until many sentences into paragraphs. The author, Rachel Pieh Jones, fantastically tells the story of this unusual (extreme understatement!) Italian woman as revealed to her by many who walked alongside Annalena in Italy, Kenya, Somalia and Somaliland.

The life and actions of Annalena Tonelli are underserved by the descriptor, “passionate”.  I not only unknowingly held my breath, but gasped at retellings of her life choices and subsequent challenging situations. Truthfully, Annalena would not call them challenging, but simply explain her behavior and choices as “normal” life experienced while truly loving and serving the poor. As Jones points out Annalena would NOT want to be likened to Mother Teresa, but in the reading of her life story one can’t help when the mind wanders to comparison. Indeed, much to her friends’ and family’s dismay she is frequently termed the “Mother Teresa of Africa”.

For me, in a sabbatical time of personal and professional evaluation, this book draws me deeper into the emotional and analytical discoveries of who I am and have been and what we’ve done in Uganda these past thirteen years. It was almost unbearable to read the quotes from Annalena—I felt so judged. It was consoling to read Jones’s take; like minds find comfort together. As I read I expected to find a deeper level of acceptance of myself, my work, my struggles, and an ability to reframe my victories. And though I was significantly on edge at times during the reading, I was not disappointed. 

In 2003, Jones herself lived just minutes from where Annalena’s life came to an end in Somaliland. That intersection of her life and Annalena’s eventually took her on a journey of discovery of not only Annalena, but of herself. It is a narrative you must read! 

Through Annalena’s story and Jones’s telling of it I found my thirteen years of “sacrifice” to be not just vindicated, but celebrated in my own heart. For a few weeks now I have been revisiting my failures, weaknesses, mistakes and regrets. To have both real success and real failure side by side where only God can heal my lack of ability to honestly and realistically process it all is what I long for.  Reading Stronger Than Death served as a piece of the healing process God is taking me through as we evaluate where we’ve been and where we’re going.

Stronger Than Death squeezed my heart as I read. I felt amped up reading this recount of Annalena’s life. It was almost exhausting and yet to say that is embarrassing given that I read it while sitting in a comfortable chair, in a beautiful house, far from war, starvation, conflict and disease. However, the truth remains that to read this story is to be drawn into the stress and tension that many who worked tirelessly alongside Annalena felt daily.

However, Jones has a way of breaking up the consuming tension. Amidst the story of death, destruction, violations and desperation, she ably intermixes events which allow a laugh of release to penetrate taut muscles, giving way to exhalation.

Her analysis of Annalena’s faith is stretching; Jones’s conclusions are not always mine. Jones’s retelling interspersed with her own take-away of Annalena’s life is more than just a challenging read. It is a crucible upon which you are forced to dissect your own faith.

I found myself in disagreement with some of Annalena’s choices, yet, I could not dismiss her strength of conviction and execution of her faith. There were times that I believed Jones to be too generous with her conclusion of Annalena’s underlying motivation.  I was disturbed by some of the seeming emphasis on applauding Annalena’s love of people to the exclusion of what I believe to be the ultimate act of love and service which is to lead them to the only one true God who ultimately and completely saves. In Annalena’s words we find her firmly fixed on the poor first and then to her Christian faith. Jones exposes how she did not seek to convert her Islamic patients or coworkers to Christianity, but to simply love them. Of course, to love people unconditionally is tremendous. She undisputedly accomplished great and heroic things in the midst of disaster and war to heal and care for the poor, but lack of leading them to attend to their greatest need, Christ himself, unsettled me. God IS Love; there can be no real love without God, so to elevate the human need and the subsequent desire to serve the human need above the place of faith in the One who gives the real, true strength to carry out any action of real love is to work at a skewed pace and focus.  These kind of strong reactions typified my reading of Stronger Than Death. Despite disagreement with either Annalena or Jones’s take on Annalena’s working out of her faith and love, there is an intense and consistent draw to continue reading.

There is no denying that Annalena’s life and work reveal a unique approach to service and ministry. For instance, there is a retelling by one of her former coworkers describing how Annalena bent over to work with patients. From their hard physical labor with the patients back issues developed, yet Annalena never complained, she just continued working. 

At this I thought of all of our talk at New Hope Uganda and in the missionary community at large about “rest” and “self-care” and me, being one intimately acquainted with back problems and ongoing pain which I have addressed with care by doing exercises and refusing to lift or carry heavy items, I felt a bit guilty when I read this account, but also a little angry at Annalena for being “successful” at extreme self-sacrifice when I have sought to care for myself in tandem with serving others. The dichotomous tension forced me to analyze my own approach to both self-sacrifice and self-care and to ultimately refuse to either beat up myself or give myself a blue ribbon of commendation.

Jones transcends the misunderstood descriptions others have written or supposed and presents a picture of this woman who will challenge you to the very core of who you think you are at your very best. I found Annalena to be a woman who is not married to only one idea, but is able to do whatever it takes to serve the poor.

In addition, this story reveals the multi-faceted attention to culture that must be addressed when serving the poor cross-culturally. Of course that seems obvious, but the valuable cultural understandings gained while reading Jones’s account reminds me of our own cross-cultural discoveries these past thirteen years. As I read of Annalena’s life I see a reflection of mistakes made and victories gained in a culture foreign to us as we relationally worked alongside our Ugandan friends. And yet, I cringe at any reflection that seems to place me alongside her—I am tempted to say I don’t measure up. Yet, I am reminded to not compare myself to her. I am so very different than Annalena, not better or less.

To be honest, I struggled with some of Jones’s own rendering regarding the extreme nature of Annalena’s faith, love and service to the poor. But, I urge you to read the book and draw your own conclusions as God speaks to you through this biographical piece. It was released on October 1st and can be found on Amazon. 

On Wednesday of this week Geoff and I will fly to Uganda for a brief two and a half week visit to attend a wedding and graduation as well as fully involve ourselves relationally with our Ugandan and expat friends. As we leave the kids behind in Denver with Geoff’s parents, and to get themselves to and from school and sporting events, I wonder about the timing of the visit. The kids are sad that they are not able to go. Please pray for us as we travel, pray for the kids as they miss their friends and this opportunity to see them, and pray for all of us to be a blessing to all we meet along the way. 

Taking Stock

Geoff and I are home alone tonight.

The kids have gone overnight camping down on the farm with some friends. (Hoping they don’t have any pythons, cobras, safari ants or any other unique creature disturb them.) Geoff is preaching on Sunday so we settled into a night of preparation by study and reflection.

Shortly after we cleaned up the dinner dishes he asked me to name my favorite part of the past two weeks. 

I had no idea. 

It wasn’t that my brain couldn’t choose, it was flat blank.

I commented that I’d have to check the calendar to even know what we did. 

And so have been our days, so full we collapse into bed at night. Though he and I attack the pillows differently—he snoozes DEEPLY within moments and I struggle to get any shut eye for more than an hour, the days are indeed packed.

When I took stock in answer to his question I was floored at all that had gone on in and around us!

At a time in our life when we are endeavoring to prepare for a very long furlough, our emotions are at constant ebb and flow. Some moments are manageable and some are overwhelming.

A quick synopsis of recent events reveals we haven’t sat still. And yet, in it all, we are thankful! God has given us sooooo much: friends, material goods, children, beauty of creation, abundant ministry opportunities and His rich presence. Instead of being overcome by stress at all there is to do, we are striving to remain thankful at all we have in Him. Indeed, we are rich!!!!!

Just two weeks ago we welcomed one of my friends from Pepperdine, along with his wife. It was a whirlwind visit starting on Sunday morning when I picked up Joanie, my friend’s wife, from Entebbe airport and enjoyed a full day of visiting together along with another missionary we’ve come to know who works in western Uganda, and our dear daughter Nabukeera. It was an eclectic group and quite enjoyable to talk with poolside in Entebbe. In the evening we retrieved from the airport Joanie’s husband, David as he arrived from a week of ministry in Ethiopia. While on the way back to Kasana Joanie decided it would be nice to have a skirt made of local materials so I called Geoff’s colleague, Deborah, who is one of the staff that I mentor. She is also a tailor and agreed to make a skirt that evening. When we arrived home at 10 p.m. Geoff and the kids had a nice supper ready for us, which we enjoyed while continuing to catch up. I think we got to bed around midnight.  The next day we gave them a quick but thorough tour of the Kasana site of New Hope Uganda. Joanie also received her skirt in the morning and, after alterations, was able to take it with her as they left site later that afternoon to return to Entebbe.

Carothers and Britton families

We have had few personal visitors these past 13 years, but this was David’s second visit and Joanie’s first. How blessed to be able to show them the ministry here and share in learning about their ministry!

The rest of that week was quite packed! Sam arrived on Wednesday from having taught primary school in Kampala the first term of this school year. Then on Thursday we all traveled together to Kampala where Geoff and I had a number of doctor appointments—all with good results! (It is SOOOO much cheaper here to do well doctor visits!!!) On Saturday Toby took the SAT and Saturday evening we shared a fantastic three hours with dear, longtime friends at their home in Kampala. This was a major part of us preparing to leave well! Laughing, sharing memories and prayers for the future filled our evening which culminated with their presentation of a unique gift of Ugandan art. As Geoff and I enjoyed our former co-workers the kids whooped it up with their friends. It was a great night, but a difficult goodbye! 

Serunkuma and Britton families

And speaking of goodbyes, one of our foreign staff families left for a five month furlough the same Sunday I was in Entebbe. 

Then, a week ago Tuesday Geoff’s Early Adulthood staff came together at Deborah’s house for an amazing meal she had planned and prepared to both celebrate the Passover season and to appreciate our family.

Britton family and the Early Adulthood staff

On Wednesday the childcare department staff met to honor Geoff for the years of service he has given to the ministry. Though we were blessed to hear appreciation given, it was a bit uncomfortable to be the center of attention!! The next Wednesday we hosted all the foreign staff at our house for fellowship and a meal catered by Aunt Lucy, our David Family mother. (That Wednesday was WILD as Geoff had gone to Jinja at 4:30 a.m. (4 hours away) on a public taxi and returned just 10 minutes before the foreign staff arrived!)

And all this activity of celebration, welcomes and goodbyes, oozes alongside the house presenting itself as a thing to be packed and cleaned sometime in the next three weeks!!!

Goodbyes are a thing in this season of our life—who are we kiddin? Good-byes are frequent in all seasons for us missionaries!! However, there are some welcome goodbyes . . .that kind was heavily celebrated by our kids recently——goodbye to the 10th and 11th grades!!! Kevin and Acacia finished up by May 4th and Toby May 12th. I celebrated today as I finished up their portfolios after completing grade reports and transcripts earlier in the week. Since late last week I have been cleaning out the school banda; I am almost finished, but the emotions keep welling up as I sort through old papers and projects. This could very well have been my last homeschool year with my kids. I am gripped by juxtaposing emotions. Honestly, I am tired and truly looking forward to them experiencing a larger Christian school this fall. But, not being with the three of them all day long everyday while enjoying their learning journey will be a major adjustment. Prayers are appreciated in this regard!

Last Tuesday Susanna, a fellow foreign staff member, was a part of our family dinner table, followed by games. Unfortunately, one of our David Family staff members suffered a second seizure episode that evening, which sent us running to attend to him, (he had collapsed earlier in the day as well). He is recovering fairly well so far. Prayers are appreciated for his health and well being. 

On Wednesday we showed one of Louis Giglio’s talks on God’s creation with the David Family (“Indescribable”). They loved hearing about God’s power and creativity! This week we will share with them his piece called, “Symphony,” in which he shows us how the universe audibly declares the glory of God.  

Yes, it has been a busy, busy two+ weeks! 

But, you know what? My favorite thing of the past two weeks has carried me through all the different activities and interactions I’ve just shared. But, it is not an event or a person. 

I have discovered a music compilation by Shane and Shane. The worship they inspire with clear, resonant and soothing voices accompanied by emotive music has kept me focused on God Himself. The way they sing of His power, love, justice, beauty, goodness, compassion and Lordship have consistently evoked deep devotion and appreciation for God the creator, redeemer and sustainer.

There is NO WAY we can move through this season, or any life season, without Him. I have been drawn into worship of God and humbled when I reflect on His goodness toward us. 

His presence and His hand on us these past 13 years is beyond our understanding. 

This next season I expect the same. His hand. His love. His power. His plan. His people.

We are thankful!