The Connection

I was recently reading John 20 where Jesus talks to the disciples after appearing to their company of hiders for fear of the Jews.

They have bona fide fear--the Jews killed their leader and Lord and they had to wonder if they were going to be next. Mixed up with fear must have been hatred, anger and desire for revenge.

He immediately addresses their deepest need with, "peace be with you." Peace annihilates the tensile bonds of our failure to let go of our struggle against anxiety and the fallout of sins others have committed against us or those we love.

He continues,  "As the father has sent me so I am sending you," and he breathed on them.

Of course. They would need His peace first before being sent out by Him. They couldn't go out in His name without true peace. For crying out loud, they were wallowing in turmoil as evident by their inability to even go out, hence their hiding.

They couldn't reveal the truth of who He is in their state--mixed bags of fear, hatred, anger and maybe even a more than healthy desire for revenge. He is none of that nonsense.

And what else did he say was needed?  His Holy Spirit. "Receive the Holy Spirit, if you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven." Surely they cannot move as true disciples of Him, if they attempt to do so without His Spirit.

And what reason does He give here for their need of the Holy Spirit?

To exact forgiveness.

This word, forgiveness--it has been catalyst for many lengthy journal entries, intense prayers and pleadings, watershed moments of surrender to His ways and the sudden rush of release from the chains of trying to play God in other people's lives, while refusing to allow Him to be God of mine. And again today, seeing this word produced another turning point in going deeper still in Him.

My eyes were opened to notice His instruction on forgiveness falling immediately after His directive to receive the Holy Spirit.

This connection powerfully hit me.
I got a clearer understanding as to why Jesus would say in Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." This has always seemed such a harsh, unbending statement. In context, it is not. It is simply another Kingdom reality. If His spirit lives in me, I must let Him LIVE IN ME! If He forgives, and He most definitely forgives, I MUST forgive.

He has breathed on us His Holy Spirit. God, who loves and is just and therefore, through the genuine justice bought by Jesus' sacrifice, forgives. In order to refuse to forgive we must suppress His Holy Spirit in us. That most certainly must be the perfect definition of grieving the Holy Spirit.

How can his Spirit thrive in us if we continually work to suffocate Him rendering Him without rule?

When I defiantly choose to NOT forgive when His Holy Spirit lives in me, I reveal a self-centered, skewed perspective, not God's perspective, and in doing so I quench His Spirit.

Should I be surprised then at Christ's strong words regarding God's response to our acts of forgiveness or the lack thereof?

What has God Himself done for us? Forgiven.

His Spirit living in us means His ways become our ways. If we do not allow His Spirit to live out His ways in us we are working against Him. "Those not for us are against us."

Who am I that I refuse to forgive others? His very own Holy Spirit lives in me. Yet, I cannot show any evidence of His life in me when I instead foster a fertile environment for the bitterness incurred with the failure to forgive.

Matthew 18 was the pivotal point of my understanding of God's ultimate forgiveness--MANY years after I thought I understood salvation and forgiveness.

In that passage Jesus tells us of a powerful master who forgave the massive debt of one of his servants. It was a debt he would never have been able to pay in his lifetime--never mind how he came by that debt or the incredible stupidity involved in incurring the weight of something beyond repayment, yet forgiven and relieved is how he suddenly found himself.

And what did he do for immediate celebration of his freedom?

He continued in his stupidity.

With the lightness of newfound release still fresh in his being, he picked up his old shackles and threw them, with perfect aim, onto someone who owed him a paltry sum and, amidst angry words and threats, threw him in jail.

All my "valid" reasons for withholding forgiveness from those who deeply hurt me suddenly are without power and my ridiculous pride over thinking I have any justification for withholding forgiveness is exposed. The reality of God forgiving me for my heinous acts drains the power from any reason to not forgive.

Who am I to fail to forgive?

God has forgiven my debt which I could never, ever, ever, ever, repay. I have sinned against the LORD over all, the Creator, the King. Yet, he lovingly holds out His forgiveness as I acknowledge the blood sacrifice of His Son bringing me life amidst justice.

Who am I to grab someone else in a chokehold of unforgiving anger? Stupid, absolutely asinine.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

You! Go Bathe!

Early on Sunday mornings Geoff grabs a basket, a metal bowl and about a kilo of beans for sorting, then he heads out to the porch to sit in the sunshine while he starts the bean prep for lunch. A couple of weeks ago, while making my REQUIRED java, (decaf mind you, another "I'm now over 50" story for another time . . .) I heard a voice other than Geoff's at 7 :15 and found Kakande, firmly planted in the chair next to him, talking and laughing. Bubbly, our black lab mutt, never wanting to be left out of anything, had also joined them.

I tell you with confidence that you do not have the up close and personal knowledge with which to absolutely appreciate God's miraculous work that was occupying the plastic lawn chair across from Geoff. So, let me fill in your cavernous knowledge gaps.

We arrived at New Hope Uganda only 8.5 years ago. The founders of New Hope arrived 29 years ago. Twenty-Nine years ago Kakande was already of full grown size, yet of minimal mindset and a complete inability to care for himself. Truthfully, he scared young children and adults both with his unpredictable behavior and unkempt appearance. He "lived" with his grandmother two villages away from New Hope, but wandered all the nearby villages, neglected and also frequently abused by many. He had a harsh demeanor and usually only showed up for food. One of the nurses in the clinic followed him as closely as was possible with all his other nursing responsibilities, but there were still long absences in which we didn't know where he was or what was happening to him. A little more than eight years ago, our veranda became one of his chosen landing places. Whenever we had bananas, we shared. He didn't talk he just sat: disheveled, smelly, covered either with wounds or with bandages (depending on whether or not he'd already been to the clinic that day) and he drank tea, ate bananas, smacked his lips and belched.
Our kids, then 2, 3, and 4 didn't know what to make of him, but they would say hello and move about their toddler business acutely aware of his presence. We attempted to talk with him, but between our small amount of polished Luganda and his lack of enunciation, we didn't usually say much. And that was about the extent of our interaction with him.

2009. The year everything began to change for Kakande. One of the most beloved blessings to ever set foot on New Hope soil is Kate Tolhurst. She came with her humongous heart for those with special needs and over the course of the past five plus years has built a special needs program called, "Treasures in Jars of Clay." Among the many she serves is Kakande. Long story, somewhat shorter, Kakande is now a permanent part of the New Hope Community. In 2012 a small room was completed for him where he has his own bed and a place for his clothes and his radio. He fetches water each and every day for the special needs program and Aunt Kate's house. He likes to help us in our gardens from time to time. He loves to make tea in the afternoons at Aunt Kate's house and he attends David Family devotions most nights in the week. He is gentle with the young ones and loves to worship God. He talks to all of us now A LOT, though with very limited vocabulary and many slurred words, and HIS SMILE, oh, his smile is amazing! Every once in awhile he will spend  his own money on buying treats for the other special needs kids. Even though they can't eat what he brings due to their physical condition--it is his huge heart that fills them with the nutrients of love.

One who used only to beg for food now gives freely. One who had few clothes and all of them dirty and torn, now is properly clean-clothed.  Though, he still has a fairly narrow focus: his primary seemingly insatiable desire is food! He loves food! He is fed three meals and snacks everyday, but his nose can still keenly track roasting meat. He visits our house EVERY DAY at some point and usually that point is during a meal time. His draw to food is only broken by the sound of a motor vehicle moving. If he hears ours or another van moving he comes running to be a part of the ride! When Geoff had a motorbike, he wanted to go wherever Geoff was going, ALL THE TIME. Sometimes we just rode him around the yard because the smile on his face was an easy reward.

And we have witnessed first hand the therapeutic effect animals have on the physically and mentally challenged. Though Kakande cannot clearly speak our dog's name, "Bubbly" he tries with "Buppy!" he loves to pet her, and though she does not always allow him to, he greets her anyway.

I laughed out loud that Sunday when he, Bubbly and Geoff were on the porch together. Kakande, formerly unkempt and smelly, was instructing, "Buppy! Okunaba!!!"  (Bubbly, go bathe!)

The contrast between Kakande then and Kakande now is only one of the many ways this ministry is making a difference in the community. Thank you for your support of New Hope Uganda. Together we are making a difference. www.newhopeuganda.org

"Buppy okunaba!" directs Kakande as he takes a gander in Bubbly's ear

Kakande tries to assure Bubbly that having a bath won't be as bad as she expects it to be.

Bubbly shoots a begging, pleading glance Geoff's way--trying to weasel out of the inevitable scrub!

The Latest on Ketty

Dear friends of Aunt Ketty Okoth,

Our meeting with the oncologist began at 7:45 p.m. last night in Kampala. I had the CT scans and written report in my hands at 2 p.m., but the words of the radiologist were ambiguous so I kept my numerous thoughts to myself and didn't share them with Aunt Ketty as I didn't want to speak out of turn.

When we walked out of International Hospital Kampala after 8:30 last night we were beside ourselves with emotion. It had been a very long day. I had been awake since 3:15 a.m.and left for Kampala at 5 a.m., Geoff had taught in Kampala the day before to the Investment Year students and had stayed in town overnight, and Ketty had traveled to town with the Vogt family yesterday who took her to lunch to celebrate God's miracle work in her body--even before any of us knew actual CT results. 

The oncologist's words included: "remarkable improvement", "dramatic", "remarkable response to radiation", and as he provided details in medical terms of what he saw I noticed Ketty's glazed over look. She was not comprehending what was being said. She stopped him and started, "Doctor, forgive me, but if we could go back a little and review, what are you saying? Am I healed of the cancer?" To which he replied, "Yes, Ketty, you have responded well to the radiation and chemotherapy and it appears that the esophagus has no more cancer, and though there is a small spot on the brain, it is most likely scar tissue."  Ketty asked, "So, what does that mean? Are we done? What about my liver and abdomen?" He then gave her the good news that no sign of cancer was seen in any of the organs. Her face was unchanged except for her big eyes and raised eyebrows. She then breathed deeply, shook her head, clapped her hands and said, "God, be praised." The doctor reminded her of their words together before her being sent to Nairobi last November regarding expecting God to continue His healing in her. And so He has! The follow-up plan is to perform CT scans every six months unless she is experiencing symptoms warranting an earlier check. 

On the way home she called her family and I sent notification texts of the great news. Geoff simply tried to drive as safely as possible given that we were caught in Kampala Friday night jams and then were traveling in village darkness coupled with bright oncoming headlights until we reached home around 11:30 p.m. Some of her children and her husband were still awake and enthusiastically greeted her as we pulled up to their home. We fell into bed well after midnight, full of thanksgiving.

THANK YOU for you financial support, your prayers, your messages of encouragement to Ketty and her family and your faith in the LORD GOD's goodness! Please continue to pray for her body to remain free of cancer in the future. 

The follow-up CT scans cost $300 and each doctor consultation appointment costs $30 with transport at $65. Our first follow-up appointment is March 6 and is simply for her to meet with the doctor to discuss her progress. If you desire to be a part of the financial support for these costs you may send monies to New Hope Uganda Ministries, P.O. Box 154  Belle Fourche, South Dakota, 57717 designating it for the Ketty Cancer Fund on a separate piece of paper.

Thank you all so much for your amazing support throughout this journey!!!!!